


Muffled, from the other side of the door

by Persiflage



Series: The Ways You Said 'I Love You' [3]
Category: Holby City
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Schmanon, Cheerfully Ignoring Any and All Canon as the Lord Intended, Crying, Elinor Campbell Lives, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Episode: s19e13 I Do I Do I Do, Established Relationship, F/F, Jason Haynes - Freeform, Prompt Fic, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-21
Updated: 2020-05-21
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:35:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,607
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24300697
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Persiflage/pseuds/Persiflage
Summary: Canon Divergence: Serena is not coping very well in the immediate aftermath of Jason's and Elinor's accident.
Relationships: Serena Campbell/Bernie Wolfe
Series: The Ways You Said 'I Love You' [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1750207
Comments: 9
Kudos: 46





	Muffled, from the other side of the door

**Author's Note:**

> This is pretty angsty, for which I apologise, but the Muse does as she does - but at least it has a happier ending than the show gave Elinor. Written for _The Ways You Said ‘I Love You’_ list of prompts.

Bernie Wolfe leans against the closed door to what she’d come to think of as their bedroom: the one she and Serena have been sharing since she moved into her lover’s leafy detached at the beginning of December. 

Right now, though, the door is firmly closed and has been since they got back from the hospital. She swallows, trying not to picture the scene – Elinor lying in the hospital bed, wired up to the various machines trying to keep her alive – and Serena’s absolute devastation at the sight of her only child, lying in that bed. She feels a stab of guilt that she wasn’t able to operate on Elinor – even though she feels no guilt whatsoever about successfully saving Jason’s life. 

“I love you, Serena Wendy Campbell,” she calls through the door. Because she feels it’s important that Serena knows that, right now. That someone loves her and cares about her, that someone – that Bernie – will be here for her at this difficult time. 

There’s no sound from the other woman, not even sobs, so she heaves a silent sigh then turns on her heel and heads downstairs to find some food. She can’t say that she particularly feels like eating, but she knows the importance of keeping the body fuelled, especially as she might be needed at work if Jason gets into difficulties during the night. 

She opens the freezer door and pulls out two portions of lasagne. Tonight’s actually Shepherd’s Pie night, but Jason’s not here, and she knows it’s silly, but she’d feel weird eating Shepherd’s Pie without him here, too. She wonders what he’s eaten, if anything, at the hospital.

She pulls out her phone and checks for any messages from the hospital, even though she knows she’d have heard it if anyone had texted, then pockets it again, and turns on the oven to heat the lasagne. She doesn’t know if she can persuade Serena to eat, or even to let her into their room, but she has to try. Serena needs her to try.

SC-BW-SC-BW-SC

It’s late when Serena Campbell stirs out of the uneasy sleep into which she’d fallen after downing an entire bottle of Shiraz following her return from her daughter’s hospital bedside. Her mouth feels vile, like an incontinent ferret’s been kipping in it, and she feels as if her head’s bloated with all the tears she hasn’t shed, although she’d sobbed for a good hour after shutting herself into her bedroom.

She is also, she realises, hungry, and she switches on the beside lamp, then sits up, scrubbing at her face. A glance at the side of the bed reveals it’s empty, and she wonders, briefly, where her partner is. She has a vague recollection of hearing Bernie’s voice some hours ago, calling that she loved her, but not enough to come and comfort her, she notices. She shakes her head, then realises she’s still fully dressed, and for a moment she considers having a shower and changing into her pyjamas, before she realises that the prospect is simply too exhausting. She shoves her feet into her bedroom slippers, crosses to the door and opens it, and is startled when a body falls through it and lands with a muttered curse on the floor at her feet.

“Bernie?”

“Serena.” 

She’s a bit startled by how relieved her partner sounds, but she has more pressing concerns. “Were you sitting against the door?” 

Bernie nods, then eases herself upright with a grumbling sound and a brief massaging at the small of her back.

“Why?” 

Bernie shrugs, looking sheepish. “Figured this way I’d know when you came out of our room.”

“Why didn’t you come into our room? Wait, is that a tray of food?”

Bernie looks even more sheepish at this question. “Yeah. I suppose I should’ve taken it back downstairs again, but I fell asleep before I thought of it.” She bends down and Serena sees her wince as she lifts up the tray.

“Have you hurt your back?”

Bernie shakes her head, shaggy hair whipping about. “Just a bit stiff from sleeping against the door.”

“Why on Earth didn’t you just come to bed?” Serena demands, feeling more than a bit pissed off at her partner for hurting herself for no reason.

“Um.” Bernie shifts awkwardly, the items on the tray rattling as she fidgets. “You – uh – you’d locked the door. And like I said, I wanted to be certain I knew when you reappeared, which is why I didn’t go and kip on the sofa.”

Serena frowns at her, trying to parse what she’s saying – and what she’s not saying, because Berenice Wolfe never says ten words if she can get away with none at all.

“Wait, the door wasn’t locked.”

Bernie just nods, then sets off down the stairs with the tray, and when Serena thinks about it, she realises that she did, in fact, just unbolt the door before opening it. She shakes her head, then goes back into their room and decides to take that shower after all. She needs space to clear her head – she has a feeling that what Bernie wasn’t saying was that she was worried that Serena might’ve tried to commit suicide. Which she wouldn’t do, not while there’s a possibility Elinor might recover (and she knows it’s a slender possibility, but it’s there).

She’s just finished showering and is drying herself off when she hears Bernie moving about in the bedroom, so she draws the door open and says softly, “I’m sorry I locked you out. I didn’t even realise I’d bolted the door and I fell asleep after – Well, you can guess.”

Bernie nods, lips pressed tightly together, and Serena notices that the empty wine bottle, which was on her nightstand, has been removed. She hangs her towel back on the rail, then moves into the bedroom after switching off the light in the ensuite.

“Love?” Her tone is a bit more plaintive than she’d like, but Bernie reacts to it instantly, stepping in close and wrapping her arms around Serena, completely ignoring the fact that she’s naked.

“I’m so sorry, Serena,” she says, and Serena’s a little bit baffled by the intensity of her partner’s tone. “I’m sorry I couldn’t operate on Elinor. I’m sure–”

“Shh,” Serena says, pulling back just enough to press a finger over Bernie’s lips. “You have nothing to apologise for. You were already in theatre saving Jason’s life when Ellie collapsed and even a superwoman like you can’t be in two places at once.”

“I just feel like I’ve let you down.”

“Oh my darling, no. Of course not. You saved Jason and it would hurt me to lose him just as much as it would–” She cuts herself off, unable to voice the thought.

“Serena.” Bernie kisses her – a sweetly chaste kiss, clearly meant to comfort, not arouse, then says, “You need to eat.”

“Well, that was rather the plan when you fell through the door before. I was about to go downstairs in search of food.” She presses her forehead against Bernie’s. “You should’ve knocked when you brought up that tray.”

“I – uh – I did.”

“Oh.” Serena feels her face flush with mortification as she realises that she was too intoxicated to hear Bernie knocking on the door. “I’m sorry,” she says contritely. “I’ve been thoughtless and–”

“Shh.” It’s Bernie’s turn to hush her with a finger pressed to her lips. “Don’t start the self-recrimination. What’s happened has happened. Let’s put it behind us and concentrate on what needs doing next. Which, in this case, is getting you fed. Why don’t you put your PJs on and I’ll sort something out.”

“I wouldn’t mind a bowl of that soup you made for lunch yesterday. There is still some in the fridge, isn’t there?”

“There is. Are you going to come downstairs to eat it, or shall I bring a tray up?”

“I’ll come down.”

“All right.” Bernie nuzzles her nose against Serena’s, then whispers, “Don’t forget that I love you, Serena Wendy Campbell.”

“And I love you, Berenice Griselda Wolfe.”

Her face is comical at Serena’s use of her full name, and that makes her smile – something she hadn’t imagined would be possible when she heard Ellie had collapsed in the ward’s toilets.

“Get dressed, Campbell,” Bernie says, moving away, then lightly swatting Serena on the arse. “I’ll go heat up the soup.” 

Serena rolls her eyes. “Yes sir, Major Wolfe, sir!” She snaps off a rough approximation of a salute, which makes her partner chuckle as she goes out, and Serena realises she feels more able to cope now with whatever might happen. She moves over to the bed, pulls out her pyjamas and dons them swiftly.

SC-BW-SC-BW-SC

Three days after the crash that had injured Ellie and her cousin, Serena gets the news that Ellie will eventually make a good recovery, just as Jason is already doing. Bernie’s arms wrap around her as she sobs with relief onto her partner’s shoulder, and she knows she couldn’t have got through this time without Bernie Wolfe’s solid presence at her back, just like she’d promised all those months ago.

“I love you, Berenice Wolfe,” she says, and presses her lips briefly against her partner’s.

“And I love you. C’mon, let’s go and give Jason the good news.”

Serena nods. “Ellie’s going to need a lot of help.” She’ll need drug rehabilitation, for starters.

“And we’ll make sure she gets it,” Bernie says firmly. “Promise.”

“Thank you, love.”

Bernie leads her out of Ellie’s room and holds her hand as they make their way to give Jason the news.


End file.
